Discovering Donna

Just Believe

Posted in Believe,My Life by Donna on August 20, 2008

So rarely do we have those “epiphanies” on the poetic moments we’re “supposed” have them at. Mine always seem to come when I least expect it. I was looking at my new Redbook that came into today and I flipped to the back where it has the “You Know You’re a Grown Up When…” One of them said “You’ve finally figured out that if you don’t believe in yourself, no one will.” Somewhere deep down inside this just clicked.
Dirk and I have always tried to have the motto of “Just Believe”. For a gift one year, mom even gave me this mirror hanger thing that is sitting on top of our back door that says Believe. And I had to sit there and think to myself for a minute.
It seems like I’ve always been waiting for someone to believe in me and what I can do. That I was holding myself back from doing something simply because I didn’t believe I could do it. Well, if I don’t believe I can, how can I expect someone else to believe that I can?? I have to have that confidence, that belief in myself that I can do it before anyone else can. It seems I’m always at a stand still at something. If it’s not the eternal quest to be a smaller version of me, then it’s my writing, or it’s my something.
I KNOW I can do it. I’ve basically taught myself to scrapbook, I’ve started this undertaking of my 101 in 1001. I’ve gotten a designation in my workfield, not because anyone told me I had to do it. Because I wanted to do it. Even when it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, I still pushed myself to do it. I look back at the times where I’ve started my quest for a smaller self (notice I will not call it a diet), and I was quite successful, losing 40 pounds, but then I stall or quit for whatever reason.
Because I haven’t believed in myself or had the confidence to believe in myself to do it. So where does one go from this point? Admiting it is the first step to correcting it right? I know there is not an overnight cure for it.
So I’m taking it, my first step to believing in myself and having that confidence in me so that I can ultimately be secure with myself no matter who I am, what I look like or what size I am. One day at a time.
Because I’m unique, because I’m me and because I don’t have to be a mold of anyone. They broke my mold when they made me.
Right? Right!

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