Discovering Donna


Posted in changes,Life,Thoughts by Donna on November 17, 2008
Tags: , ,

An anchor is defined one way by Webster’s online dictionary as “A central cohesive source of support and stability”.

I never really thought of this in relation to how I am feeling until last night. I’ve had moments over the past couple of weeks where I have felt adrift for the lack of a better word. I am trying to deal with my surroundings and the differences in where I am and where I was. For the most part, I am a happy girl. I love my living space. How many people can say they live in a beautiful Victorian house as big as this one? I mean for the most part we have the entire 3rd floor, and we’re making it home. But at the same time, I am still looking for a job and so is Dirk. I’m surrounded by a fabulous family, I mean what more could you ask for? A job sure but I’m working on that.

But Yesterday, I had an overwhelming feeling of being home sick, more so than I have ever been since I have been here. Don’t get me wrong I have had my moments where the roar of the B-52 engines at Barksdale have been sorely missed. I miss the ability to go to Mom and Pappy’s just anytime I want to. I miss being just a few blocks from them. I miss going over to Momma Lou’s to help out around the house. I miss being able to go to Jo’s or see Julie and Chance when she brings him in. I miss hearing Stephanie talk about her latest Martha Stewart moments and what Kendall is doing now. I miss being at Hudson Silver and hearing some of my insured’s. I miss the humidity (although not by much) of the South. I miss the foods, the accents, the midnight shopping at Wal-Mart, even the smells.

Believe me when I say there is NOTHING better than mom’s chicken and dumplin’s cooking!
It was such a moment that I couldn’t go down to dinner, I was crying so hard. It’s embarrassing for me for people to see this weakness. I mean how can anyone not love where I am? It’s impossible. Yet as I was sitting up here crying my eyes out and using up a perfectly good box of tissue Judy came up bearing a much needed and fabulous glass of wine.
She related how the first time she was away from the girls for Christmas and how hard it is to be so home sick. Yet at the same time, it’s perfectly alright. I went from one country to another basically.
That’s when she mentioned anchors. How right now, I don’t have those anchors that I had back in Louisiana. Until I can get settled here, I’m not going to have those anchors. It’s such a different way of life here from the smells to the foods, to the traffic to the way people talk to well everything.

I mean seriously, do you know how hard it is to find anything Tony Catchare? And heaven forbid, you can’t find any slap ya mama here.

And the more she talked the more she made sense. I’m basically adrift right now in a huge new world. Until I can get some anchors down then I won’t feel right. So then I started thinking. What anchors did I have in Shreveport? What held me and made me feel like it was home? And how can I start duplicating some of those or making new anchors? That’s where I have to start.

This is not an overnight process that is for sure. I have to figure out those anchors and then decide what I need for my anchors here. I’m not going to be a wimp and turn and go back with my tail between my legs. I’m going to be a super woman and stick it out. I’m going to find those needed anchors and put them down.

I owe that to myself, at the least. But what about you? What keeps you grounded? What are your anchors?
What makes you love being where you are?


3 Responses to 'Anchors'

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  1. Rach said,

    This is a familiar struggle to me and here’s what I’ve learned. Missing a place or the people in it is not a weakness and it doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful and happy to be where you are. Your heart is big enough to hold both places. It has to stretch and that’s painful sometimes, so there will be tears. In the end though, it’s true what they say about Home being where the heart is. So as I’ve said many times, I live all over the place. There is definitely a part of me in Atlanta and that’s okay. My anchors are my friends and family. And they’re scattered. They don’t have to be in the same place with you to anchor you. They only need to hold you in their heart from wherever they are. I love that we’ve reconnected and I’m holding you in my heart from all the way over here in Tuscaloosa…where you have a home anytime you want to visit.

  2. Jo said,

    You are anchored, Donna Sue!!! I love you & miss you lots – time only changes where we are – not our true friends! I agree with Rach (very sweet & poetic comment). Home is where is your heart is & you are a very lucky girl to have 2 homes!! Just because you are 1,625 miles away from us doesn’t mean you don’t belong!! You are in my heart forever & that won’t change!! It will just make our time together even more special! We should have done more when we had the chance – well – I won’t let that chance pass us by anymore!! You are SO missed & special to me – I miss the “making me laugh til i cry” – you just don’t know how much! Tears are a sign of our strength – it releases us & gives us room to tackle even more!! Sending all my love to you @ your new home!! J

  3. Donna said,

    All i can say is that I love the both of you!!! Thank you!

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