Discovering Donna


#59 is Now completed

Posted in 101,Things Completed by Donna on December 31, 2008
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Thanks to Mama ( my MIL) I have a new digital camera and printer station.  It was an early birthday present.  And in my favorite color too!!! I’m excited because now I can finish all those photo projects I’ve got to do.  More later after the battery (which was included!!!) is charged.  Well and I have read the directions!  Woohooo!!!!

Thank you mama!!!!!100_3558100_3559

Frustration Beyond the Max

Posted in Life by Donna on December 31, 2008

So I can’t sleep.  Remember this tune?  Every since I’ve been home from the hospital, I haven’t slept a single night straight through.  And I’m. Frustrated.  I’ve tried everything except taking a walk around the block.  And I mean everything.  I have a RX for some sleep aides and those don’t even work.

So here I am.  AGAIN.  This nightly sleeplessness from 2 am until 4 or 5 am is really pissing me off.  I’m tired of being uncomfortable.  I’m tired of not being able to sleep.

So what’s a girl to do?  I want to start the new year on a positive note.  I am determined to.  But this not sleeping is getting on my nerves.

Help!  Sleep Fairy, where are you?  I think you need to swing back by my place again.

I almost forgot to post today

Posted in Holidays by Donna on December 30, 2008
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I’m getting ready for bed, it’s a late 9:16 at night right now. I’ve managed to catch a cold, along with Florrie from Dirk. So we’re both feeling under the weather. Dirk is getting better, thank goodness. I’m worn out after today, not that I did anything special, because I didn’t. I hate being sick. But at least I’m getting it out of my system before the first of the year. I’m determined to have the next year be a good productive year. I’ve been tweeking my 109 list and both of my other lists. I keep tweeking, trying to get them just right because I made the decision that I’m not going to change either of the 101’s after Jan 1st. My 109 will also be set in stone.

So I’m taking some calm spirit and going to go lay down. Only 2 more days until I go back to the doctor and I’m excited but anxious. I want to be in that walking boot so bad right now. I can’t stand being in this cast right now. So cheers and here’s to a better year, a healthy year and a productive year.

Happy New Year My Friends!!!!!!

The Passing of Another Year

Posted in Life by Donna on December 29, 2008
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I am so glad this year is almost over!

Let me say that again. I’m so glad this year is almost over!!!

It’s been a strange year, full of sickness and issues and not good things. And I’m glad to be done with it. I want 2009 to be productive, fun, and healthy! I’ve caught the cold that Dirk and Ryan had so now I’m down for the count for the next couple of days. But after that, it’s on! Friday marks the day where I get the walking boot and I won’t consider any other possibilites. I refuse to. I will be upstairs on Saturday playing Guitar Hero with Ryan and Dirk and whoever else is here.

Dirk will get in to see a doctor to see what’s the matter with him and why he keeps getting sick like he has been. After my ankle gets back to normal, my weight loss project will start again. I wanted to do biggest loser at work but I don’t think that is going to be possible. I think for now, we’re just going to have to settle for changing eating habits and maybe Weight Watchers. Got to start with the basics first right?

So yay for the end of the year and yay for the start of a new one. Maybe one day I’ll look back on this one and remember it better.

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Dear Daddy,

Posted in 101,Daddy by Donna on December 27, 2008
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I’ve been putting this off for a while now. You know I put it on my list of things to do that I wanted to write you this letter. I thought about putting it in a bottle and setting it out to sea. You know, kill two birds with one stone. But each time, I’ve decided against it. I thought about writing it and then taking with me when I got your stone mounted and then burning it and putting the ashes across your small plot between the girls. I’ve thought of a ton of ways to send this. But I know no matter what, no matter how I do this, you are going to see it. Maybe this will help someone who I am thinking of be able to sit down and write her father a much needed letter and get some things off her chest. Goodness knows we can both benefit from getting somethings off our chests.

I miss you. I’m sure that you know that. I’m sure you can see from where you are that I have missed you every day for the last almost 6 years now. Remember all those opinions you always gave so freely that I didn’t always listen to? They would have come in handy. But I hope you are proud. I hope I’ve at least turned out a little bit better than you hoped. I hope you know that the time you were sick and my being there to help take care of you that I don’t regret it. I certainly wish things could have been different. But you know, Robert Dale and I had the conversation that knowing what I know would I really consider going back and changing things. The answer is the same as it was the night of your viewing.

No I wouldn’t. It all would have lead to the same ending, your passing, but just in a different way. I know it was your time. I know you accomplished all you had meant to do. It still doesn’t help.

I know you wanted Kenny and Larry and I to be closer but it wasn’t possible. I don’t think they cared enough and after having my issues with it, I’m almost at ok with it. I regret that they can’t see me know, they can’t know their baby sister because of their own issues. Well, you know Larry passed. So it’s just me and Kenny now. I haven’t heard from him since we wrote me that letter trying to get the guitar. His loss.

It’s certainly different now. I did get to move to Shreveport. Something you had always wanted to do. 5 really awesome years. Mavis and Pappy adopted me and they’re wonderful, but I think you knew that. I got married, well you know that. We have our ups and downs but we’re making it right now. We moved to California and it’s been an adventure for the most part. I think we’re going to be fine once we get through some issues. But we’re working on that.

I’ve decided to start working on my writing. Not sure where it’s going to go. But I’ve also discovered a creative side that I didn’t know existed. I’ve been having fun with that. I even managed to make you a scrapbook. Now did you think I’d ever be that creative??? Not I.

Everyone is doing good for the most part. Lori has a baby now and Daniel has one on the way. Maybe once I lose some of this weight, things will work out for us and we’ll end up having one. Life goes on right?

It doesn’t diminish the fact that I miss you and love you. I always wonder if you are proud of the woman I’ve become. I struggled for the longest time with a huge hole trying to figure out if I told you I loved you that last night. I was so proud of the fact that you were on the couch and not in that bed that I couldn’t remember. Thanks for letting me know. You have no idea how much that meant to me that you could let me know that I did tell you I love you.

I’m droning on I know. I can’t help it. I could go for ages and ages on stuff after all it’s been 6 years. But I’m not going to. I just wanted you to know a few things and get a few things off my chest.

I know we didn’t have the greatest relationship, but at least we loved each other and we knew that. I couldn’t help feeling good when you told everyone that I was the child that helped take care of you. I was proud that you were proud. Maybe that’s your legacy. I know in some little way that I did make you proud. Granted we all have our share of mistakes but that’s just another chance to learn it and do it right huh?!

Ok, I’m signing off. My broken ankle is swollen and pushing on this post it yellow cast. (you like the color huh??) You’re stubborn and pigheaded child is giving them hell for this broken ankle. But you wouldn’t expect anything less would you? I mean I did get the stubborn and pigheadedness from you. Well you and mamaw. Guess it just runs on that side right?

Oh well, I love and miss you (I can’t say that enough) and know that we’ll talk again. I’m sure I’ll end up writing another letter before it’s over with.

Until then,

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Saturday Posting

Posted in Holidays,NaBlPoMO by Donna on December 27, 2008
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Well, I’m at least trying to finish out the month on NaBloPoMO.  I just had the week and a couple of days where I couldn’t post because of the ‘net and the &$#@ ankle.  I’m getting better with it and am counting down the days until Friday when I go back.  I’m fully confident that he’s going to put me in the walking cast.  I’m not even thinking about the possibility.

So it being the day after Christmas yesterday, I started working and really looking at my 109 list that I decided to do.  It’s a combination of my 101 lists but also with a few other things that I wanted to do.  So I’m excited.  But I also revamped both of my 101 lists.  I took off a few things, added a few things, changed a few things.

2009 is going to be about getting healthy, setting the path to discovery and having some fun along the way.  I’m excited  I think it’s going to be a fabulous year and I can’t wait!

What about you?  No resolutions, just what do you want the new year to be about?

Christmas and Jars

Posted in Books,NaBlPoMO by Donna on December 26, 2008
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So yesterday was Christmas. I received some lovely gifts from Santa and the Pinney House Elves.  A beautiful gray shirt, a pair of PJ’s, and a stocking full of goodies.   Yesterday afternoon was the Christmas Party and Secret Santa. The person’s whose name I pulled was not feeling good so I didn’t get to see his face when he opened his gift, but I hope that he likes it just the same.

My name was pulled by Kathleen whom I had met one time this past Thanksgiving. She’s a beautiful and wonderful lady. Just from the snippets of conversation at Thanksgiving she put together such a beautiful gift for me. In my bag, I had this wonderful brown sugar and vanilla lotion, a book and this beautiful green shawl. I’m excited to be able to go back to work and wear it. It’s one of those shades that goes with gray, black or white.

I read the book last night. She explained that she had never read it but was told it was a really good story. I was curious when I read the inside jacket and last night, after the hubby got tired of Humphrey Bogart, (who can do that????) and changed the channel on me, I laid down to read and prop my overly swollen foot up.

Now, without giving away all the book, let me tell you the basic story of it. It’s about a jar that a couple started on their first year married. A couple of weeks before Christmas their first year, they set all of their spare change at night in a jar. They agreed that they would only use this money for Christmas. It only being a couple of weeks before, the amount was small, but they made due and got each other some meaningful gifts. Each year they started earlier and earlier and eventually it got to where they would start on Dec. 26th. Can you imagine how nice a Christmas that was? But eventually they had a family. And the oldest child one year gave the jar to a lady on the street who looked down and out and in need of the money. After first getting upset because their Christmas money was gone, they decided they wouldn’t do it differently had they been given a second chance. So this started a tradition of saving the money and giving it to some random person in need.

Now I’m not giving away anymore, but it’s a sweet and wonderful story and sort of inspiring. And it gave me an idea for next years gifts. So with that being said, I’m off to get up and starting writing down these plans.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Posted in Holidays,NaBlPoMO by Donna on December 25, 2008
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Yep it’s that time of year!  We’ve finished the first round of present opening and are getting ready for the second one.  Furniture is being moved to make room for people that will be here later.  I’m about to attempt to get a shower which is a chore in itself with the cast.

I called mom but of course they are a couple of hours ahead of me and are getting ready to sit down to Christmas lunch.  I’ve got to call Lori but I might just wait a minute in case they too are getting ready to eat.

I just want to say Merry Christmas.

Love you all!

Days Like This

Posted in Holidays,Life,NaBlPoMO by Donna on December 24, 2008
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Now, don’t get me wrong.  It’s Christmas and I’m excited.

But.  And that’s a big word right now.

I am sitting at my desk in our little apartment listening to The Bishops Wife playing in the background.  You know, the one with Carey Grant?  My hubby is off working on the float for the Rose Parade and I’m enjoying the silence.  But at the same time, I’m not happy with it.  I talked to Mom this afternoon, right before I started writing this actually.  And we both had the same thought.  We both wish I was there right now.  The holiday’s aren’t really the time.  We both thought that we could be playing one of our favorite games right now, you know  Boggle, phase 10, yahtzee, pictionary, scrabble.  Something to pass the time on Christmas Eve in the bosom of family.  Instead the whole holiday is topsy turvy.  Hardly anyone is going to be at mom’s this year.  Well I take that back.  Lori, Eric, Corban, Dirk and I won’t be there.  And it’s different.  I had grand aspirations to make Christmas gifts this year, to send out cards, to do so much.  Instead, I’m home, doing nothing.  With a broke ankle.

And don’t get me wrong.  I’m thankful.  Thankful I’m alive, thankful to have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food to eat.  I’m thankful for so much.

But I’m not at mom’s with the heat blaring.  Pappy wearing his red coat wondering if we are going to play the game that’s quiet.  Sleeping over on Christmas Eve so we can get up early and open presents and then cook dinner.

Instead, I’m 1600 miles away, with the heat going, a good book, a good movie playing and my foot propped up where ever I go.  Christmas will probably be low key and quiet.  I asked Dirk not to get me anything this year.  Instead I want to really celebrate my birthday.  Because the cast just kind of hampers me and my spirits right now.

So here’s to better days and getting excited because it’s that time of the year.  There is no reason I should be bah humbuging it.

Because after all, it’s not about what we have, what we get, who we are with, who we are missing.  It’s about a baby that was born in a manager who was the Savior to us all.

Funny how priorites get turned around and we lose meaning of things like this.  It is too commercialized.

Days like this………..

So I was Tagged!!!!

Posted in Life by Donna on December 23, 2008

So thanks to Jennifer at Nenni’s World I’ve been tagged.

Here are the rules:
1. Take a picture of yourself.. riiiiiight.. NOW!
2. DO NOT change your clothes. DO NOT fix your hair.. Just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag 10 people to do this and leave their pics as a comment!

So here I am: Me right now

I think that I’m going to tag Lori, JoAnn, Rachel, Sarah, Finn, Britt, Cafe Chick, and anyone else who wants to do it!

Love you all!

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