Discovering Donna


Posted in Life by Donna on January 20, 2009

Have you ever had one of those dreams that just woke you up the next morning and you remembered it so vividly.  One that scared or worried the crap out of you?  Was it about someone who passed previously?  I’ve had some real odd dreams over my years.  Some were sweet.  Last nights struck a chord with me and sort of worried me a little.

Let me tell you about the first one I ever had.  It was my grandmother when she was young.  She was sitting with me on her front porch and was telling me that I wouldn’t be able to get anything out of the house because my uncle was coming.  But she really wanted me to have her piano.  We then moved inside and she gave me yet another piano lesson.  Now mind you I’ve never taken piano but after I told my father about the dream he told me that when my grandmother was younger she had a piano and played.  I described the house and he told me that was the house that he was born in and grew up in for the first few years of his life.  At this time, maw maw had already passed away.  Well, when it all came down to it, my father got into a fight with my uncle and he ended up taking everything for his children and not giving anything to us.

The next time I had a dream of this nature was right after daddy had passed away.  I was torn up trying to remember if I had told him I loved him before I went to bed that night.  I had a dream a couple of days after daddy passed where we were in the apartment and he was sitting on his hospital bed like he always did and was talking to me.  He told me that yes I did say that I loved him before I went to bed.  He knew I loved him.  This dream gave me an overwhemling sense of peace.

Last night however, the dream was deeply disturbing.  I had a dream that my father knew he was dying so he intentionally took an over dose of morphine.  To me that explained his teeth still being in and his glasses still being on when I found him the next morning.  I never counted his meds, I didn’t need to.  I divided up his pills into a divider each Sunday.  I never considered the possibility.  NEVER.  My father always was of the opionion that suicide was wrong.  I don’t know what to make of this dream.  I don’t know if I should chalk it up to having things on my mind and my subconcious took it from there or what.

Needless to say this dream scared me to death.  I dunno though.

What do you think?  Any suggestions out there?


2 Responses to 'Dreams'

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  1. My only suggestion for you is to let it go. Some things are best left alone.
    My father died due to cancer and I can relate to your experience. It took me almost 2 years to come to peace with it.
    I still miss my Dad every single day but I have come to peace with the events that happened.

  2. Finn said,

    Dreams are your subconscious trying to work things out for your. It’s possible that you’ve been wondering about the teeth and the glasses for a while. Your mind is just helping you come to terms with it.

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